fancytalk: (you guys are whack)
How is it that I've been to the booze store a grand total of three times and the guy who works there remembers me?
fancytalk: (ketchup)
This one is for [livejournal.com profile] drmellow for all the bacon posts. Ronette sent this one to me this morning.

Bacontarians
fancytalk: (black white bunny)
I just want to say that it's a bit sick and a lot sad that Ronette uses a car service so much that they sent a card for the holidays. And it's not one of those "we bought a box pre-printed with our names", it's hand-signed with a nice message inside.
fancytalk: (rainbow sex)
So I'm sitting here watching a Queer as Folk marathon on Logo and as I'm fast-forwarding through those boring things call commercials I see someone I think I recognize. Lo and behold, it is my friend Shane doing a spot on sexuality. Pretty cool.
fancytalk: (Sarcasm)
I'm sure my adolescent years would have been much more pleasant if I'd just had the internet for this tutorial on How to Clean Your Room.

Thank you, Mr. Internet for making teenager's lives easier.
fancytalk: (Default)
Well, I knew that we had a peach tree by evidence of the butt-load (yes, [livejournal.com profile] drmellow, I said butt again.) of peaches. Dad said that the other trees in the yard were definitely fruit trees but he couldn't figure out what kind. No leaves made it a bit difficult to guess at and they all three looked the same. And Ronette swore up and down that the one on the ledge smelled like a Jolly Rancher. Lo and behold, I've figured them out. One is a pear tree. Proven by the single dangling pear. That's right, I said single. Extremely odd I think. The squirrels and I fought for the right to peaches, but the squirrels didn't bother the pear tree. I probably would have figured that one out sooner if they had. The other two trees are apple trees. We are in Washington after all. It just so weird that it took all this time to discover what they were as Ronette and I had been checking them every week to see what delicious treat might be growing. And we had nothing. So all I need now is a partridge for my pear tree.
fancytalk: (Dana Laughing)
We went to the movies last night and saw SuperBad.
AAAAAAHHHH! It was hilarious! Not completely sure that it will become the next American Pie, but it was definitely funny. All the humour is 12 year old boy humor without any fart jokes. Funny though and we laughed out loud the entire time. The bonus is that we saw the preview for Harold and Kumar 2.

And the night started out pretty funny with the girl who waited on us for our movie food catching our hot dogs on fire in the microwave. The buns weren't entirely defrosted and another clerk advised her that "yeah, I usually just fix them up and stick them in the microwave for 45 seconds". As she was stuffing them into their silvery hot dog bags, I said to Ronette "I don't think those bags are microwavable." "Well, maybe it's just the printing ink . . . we'll see." 15 seconds later Ronette and I are going "FIRE! FIRE!" We were laughing so hard before the movie, there was no way the movie wasn't going to be funny.
fancytalk: (Default)
My friend Carol, who is unable to read more than one book at a time, cut her copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in half so she can easily transport it on trains and planes.
fancytalk: (Default)
How about bacon with your chocolate?

Vosge's Bacon Chocolate Bar

Ho Cake

Aug. 3rd, 2007 11:27 am
fancytalk: (Default)
So I'm down in the dungeon cleaning out crap and I find a bunch of stuff from my former life in Virginia. One of those things is my manual for a class (I guess you can call it that) I used to teach called "Keeping it Real". Well, I was training others to be able to teach the curriculum, so my manual is a little different than what the kids get when they go through it.

I'm flipping through and taking out all the paper I can recycle and I find the section entitled "The 411 on Sex and Slang ~ Glossary of Terms". And of course I'm giggling because this section is in here because I was teaching this class to older, church-going ladies. Very prim, very proper and had a hard time using words like penis and vagina, but they wanted to use this program to help the youth in their church community so they were going to get jiggy wid it. So we came up with a very comprehensive and gentle list for them. Didn't want to freak them out too much. So we get things like anal sex (why I don't know, it seems self-explanatory), Benjamin, the bomb, bounce, 411, ghetto, hip hop, mack, my bad, old skool, props, tight, whack and what's the dilly. But by far my favorite on the list is Ho Cake. Although, I'm intrigued that the definition for ho cake on this list is vagina. I thought a ho cake was more along the lines of slut or ho, but not skanky like a skank. Anyone use ho cake to identify their vagina? Hmmmmm, I believe this calls for a little Urban Dictionary searching.

ETA - I am not forgetting ho cakes as a food group. Food wasn't the 411 for this list. However, Urban Dictionary does state that a ho cake can be food for hos.
fancytalk: (Default)
OK, this is totally bizarre. I don't know how many of you know who Louise Hay is, but I was introduced to her a long time ago and completely appreciate her. So I was looking to download one of her meditation tapes on Audible.com, but they were so cheap there I didn't want to waste a credit for something under $10. I go over to Amazon and search the audiobooks and the one that I was thinking about getting is only available on cassette on Amazon. OK, I go to check out who has them and OMG! $200 for a 60 minute cassette? heres the link if you don't believe me. I think I'll go back over to Audible and circumvent using my credits.
fancytalk: (Default)
And off the road!

I, being my bad self today, went down the road to the grocery to buy my brownie. I'm sitting at the stop light waiting to turn and hear CRUNCH. That unmistakable sound of another car hitting another car. Now, I'm not sure which lane (the road has 4 lanes, 2 each direction) the car that was hit was in, but when I looked into my mirror, it was pushed 2 feet into the oncoming traffic lane. Now, if it was in the inside/middle lane, that was a big push. But if it was sitting in the outside lane, OMG! how fast was the truck that hit it going out of the post office parking lot?

But it's been one of those days where all the bad drivers are on the road. And no [livejournal.com profile] curefreak I did not check for baseball caps or stuffed animals tossed into the back windshield area. I've seen lots of near misses today and one I was almost involved in when the guy in the lane next to me realized that he wanted to turn left, so went straight into the parking lot as he should have but then did the quick u-turn in the entrance back out onto the road into my lane. Glad I hit the brakes when I realized what he was doing because I would have taken him out. And what ticked me off was that he was right beside me, not like a little bit in front to give him an extra edge, but right smack beside me. And I just heard another CRUNCH which sounds like it was down by the stop light. Oh well, I'm not going anywhere else tonight. I've got my brownies and the bunny chilling in the backyard. The bunny is chilling in the backyard, not my brownie.
fancytalk: (Dancing Condoms)
Snapshot of Ronette and Dana's after dinner conversation -

Me - I'm going to have to dig through my baking stuff to see what I can make that's sweet.

R - Ice cream. I want ice cream.

Me - Ice cream isn't in the cabinet.

Pause

R - Are you going to the store to get me ice cream?

Me - Do you really need ice cream that bad?

R - Yes! I'm telling you, I'm CRAVING ice cream. If I were craving pickles too, I might think I was pregnant. Well, I am sort of craving vinegar now that I think about it.

D - Is there something you want to tell me?

R - God loves me. And when I say God loves me, I mean God REALLY loves me.

Needless to say, I rolled my eyes right up to heaven and went to the grocery store.
fancytalk: (Default)
I just heard a snippet on the radio of how a few people in San Francisco have bought plasma TVs off one those "have I got a deal for you in the back of my van" guys. Turns out that the TV was actually the door off a stove! Not sure how true it is, I just tried to Google the story and can't find anything. I can buy stoves and/or TVs, but no con story. However, it's nutty enough that it has to be true.
fancytalk: (Default)
First, I had to call the cops around midnight last night because there was a group of at least 20 college students standing in the middle of my street having an extremely LOUD argument. I thought that the apartment complex across the street was having a party. The parties don't bother me, but they usually don't sound like they are in my living room. I figured there was a new group of students who have moved in. The Nosy Nelly in me looked out the window when I heard someone say "are you ok?" at which point I went to the door with the phone and asked if they needed someone to call the police. Someone said yes and that some guy had mugged one of the guys in the group. Cell phones anyone? So I called, then I heard someone scream and someone else was yelling "OMG There he is! Catch him" A couple of the guys take off down the street and drag back this other kid. They were just holding onto him but I could hear one of the guys saying "look, all I want is the passport. I don't have any money, but I NEED the passport". Then someone said that the police had been called, he punched one of the girls holding his arm and took off in the other direction. The entire group took off after him. I heard the sirens a few minutes later. I don't know what happened after that, I wasn't crazy enough to follow.

After the Irish kids cancelled coming to the States in November, they are now going to be here the same time that RTL and I go to Australia. I love them, but the wishy-washy bothers me. We won't get into the psycho-babble that it's one of those things about myself that bothers me when other people do the same thing. For years they have been working on the dream of owning a coffee/art cafe and now things seem to be progressing into reality. Before the end of the year Elphene's should be up and running in Ennis (County Clare, Ireland). Very exciting, but boo hoo for me because now they won't be here in November.

And now for a funny story.
A friend of mine coaches his son's soccer team. He was telling me about a dork moment that he had with one of the fathers. Let's understand that Tom is synonymous with normal. He is the dad from the Dick and Jane books, he is Ward Cleaver in person. One of the father's came up to Tom and said something along the lines of "I'm so and so's dad, you're a good coach, etc" Tom described the other father as tattooed, tight jeans wearing, with cool hair - complete opposite of Tom. Then the other dad said to Tom "Great game" and put out his fisted hand to do what I would like to term the Tough Guy handshake. You know, the one where they give each other kudos, and knock fists together while saying things like "dude" or "man". Tom, being normal put out his hand for a handshake. Awkward moment ensued while tattooed dad realized that Tom is not hip on the Tough Guy handshake. That's not all! Tom's wife ran into tatooed dad's wife at the toddler park. Tom's wife comes back and tells him that he really is a dork because tatooed dad is none other than the lead singer of Metallica.

I'm a bit surprised that James Hetfield lives in the Bay area. I'm more surprised that he's a soccer dad though. Now I want to go to a soccer game.
fancytalk: (Default)
Just found an interesting website for "Forget-Me-Not panties".

Forget-Me-Not

So what's up with the forget-me-not panties?
Some paranoid husband created them instead of spending money on a private investigator?
What is really frightening is that they are SOLD OUT!!!!
How many women would willingly put on a pair? Definitely not the Valentine's Day (or birthday or Christmas or anniversary) gift I'd like to receive.

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