Ho Cake

Aug. 3rd, 2007 11:27 am
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So I'm down in the dungeon cleaning out crap and I find a bunch of stuff from my former life in Virginia. One of those things is my manual for a class (I guess you can call it that) I used to teach called "Keeping it Real". Well, I was training others to be able to teach the curriculum, so my manual is a little different than what the kids get when they go through it.

I'm flipping through and taking out all the paper I can recycle and I find the section entitled "The 411 on Sex and Slang ~ Glossary of Terms". And of course I'm giggling because this section is in here because I was teaching this class to older, church-going ladies. Very prim, very proper and had a hard time using words like penis and vagina, but they wanted to use this program to help the youth in their church community so they were going to get jiggy wid it. So we came up with a very comprehensive and gentle list for them. Didn't want to freak them out too much. So we get things like anal sex (why I don't know, it seems self-explanatory), Benjamin, the bomb, bounce, 411, ghetto, hip hop, mack, my bad, old skool, props, tight, whack and what's the dilly. But by far my favorite on the list is Ho Cake. Although, I'm intrigued that the definition for ho cake on this list is vagina. I thought a ho cake was more along the lines of slut or ho, but not skanky like a skank. Anyone use ho cake to identify their vagina? Hmmmmm, I believe this calls for a little Urban Dictionary searching.

ETA - I am not forgetting ho cakes as a food group. Food wasn't the 411 for this list. However, Urban Dictionary does state that a ho cake can be food for hos.
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File #12 from HellTM is back in all it's glory.
See how thrilled I am.
(For those who don't know about File #12, I volunteered to do a freelance project for my other half back in July. It was suppose to be easy, but turned out to be one headache after another including HR taking 3 months to pay me after I finished the project.)
The client has decided that this file is the best thing since pb & j sandwiches and wants quarterly updates on it. Good for me and the cash flow; bad for me and the pain in the butt this file is.
And I think I'm going to take it on for the extra cash. OK, so that means I can't complain about it if I willingly do this again. At least I'll be able to switch it over to Access and it will be easier to work with than in Excel. I can complain about HR and the stupid people who work in that department. RTL could find someone else to do the project, but I think I'm the best person to work on the file. I know it backwards and forwards, so while it's making RTL look good for the client I'll help out a little.

Oh my!

Oct. 10th, 2005 04:25 pm
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I'm not one to be shocked, but what a surprise to pull up my friends page and have pictures of a penis staring at me. Gotta love [livejournal.com profile] randompost. I don't recommend checking it out unless you haven't gotten a good laugh in for the day yet. It also makes me realize the consequences of the digital revolution and too much time on ones hands.

I'm having a lovely time sitting here waiting for the computer to decide that 25 vlookups isn't too much to handle. I keep waiting for the "we're sorry, but Excel has just decided to take a leave of absence" message. I've already tried everything I can think of to get rid of the hang-up, spinning colorwheel of death and destruction. I'm at a loss. If anyone is familiar with Macs and can give me another tip/trick to fix the hang-up issue, I'll try anything once. And if the suggestion is to either a. switch to a PC or b.use non-Windows software, are you buying the computer?

A friend lost their iPod in the backseat of the car which I finally found after cleaning all the junk out so I'm sitting here listening to music that I don't own. It's kind of fun because he has a lot of classical and music that I would term "high church hymns". He and his partner just went on a Baltic Sea cruise and the music that is on the iPod is left from the trip. It's interesting to see what other people use for travel music. He has a playlist entitled Moonlight @ 40K. Now, I don't know who set the playlist up, but it's an excellent candlelight, romantic evening alone, I love you so very very much collection of songs. I'm going to have to copy the list down so I can recreate it.

I keep having dreams lately about things not working the way they are suppose to. Well, I thought the dreams were just the door that wouldn't lock. Last night was the pool without water. Like the door dream where one side locks and the other doesn't. The pool was split into four sections with the water spilling from one pool to another. Two of the pools actually had water and the other two had none even though they are all connected together. Another realization is that the things that don't work keep doubling - a double door, four pools. I don't know what could come in eight, but it does seem like the dream/issue is escalating.

OK, looks like Excel is ready to play nice. Back to the mines.
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This is my early morning rant before I buckle down to finish RTL's file.

First, I'm sure that the flames that started around her feet are licking closer to the top of her head. She's stressing me out because I can't have it all done yesterday. And criticized because I'm looking at each record an average of 30 seconds. I'm biting my tongue because what I want to say is "well, if you don't like how I'm doing it, then do it yourself". But I'm nice and it pays property taxes. ARRRRRGGGGGGGGG!

Add a little repetitive motion strain to that and it looks like it going to be a long day.

I think it's going to rain.

I had trouble eating my cereal because the cat was in my lap trying to put her face in the bowl. I knew I should have used soy milk this morning.

And finally, I HATE fat days. The scale says - "wow! the exercise is working well." The mirror says - "You go girl! Apples really are the secret." The clothes on the other hand say - "What in the hell have you been shoving down you throat?" But what's screwed up is that these are the clothes that fit now, and the too big clothes, they are too big! I hate fat days.

I wish it were Friday already.

Withdrawal

Jun. 21st, 2005 02:05 pm
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I haven't listened to JLC in about a week and I'm suffering from withdrawal. I'll have to make my smart playlist even smarter than it already is when I stop listening to my 80's flashback - all day and all night.

Been out doing errands this morning. Had to be up at the crack of still dark out this morning. RTL had to catch an early morning flight to Redmond, again. I'm thinking that Redmond should just be moved south a few miles. It would make it a lot easier for me to avoid early morning NPR wake up calls.

Then off to the floor store to return the floor samples we borrowed over the weekend. We had all the hardwood floors refinished before we moved into the house, but we didn't/haven't done anything to the floors that were tiled or the closet floors. We were considering installing some in floor heating for the bathrooms, but have since discovered cork flooring. So I think we've narrowed it down to cork tiles for the bathrooms, closets, and pantry.

And I went into the new Target that is closer to the house. OH MY GOODNESS! It's beautiful! Two floors and clean and not junky and it's very Berkeley.

Haven't been to the grocery store for people food or the pet store for Bella food. I'll get around to that eventually. I've got access to the car for the next couple of days to make running errands less of a hassle.

I've put on my junky clothes so that I can implement phase 6 of the juniper attack. Sounds like a B horror movie from the 50's.

The dog has been relegated to the back porch today. No cozy inside bed sleeping for him. Besides the toilet paper, digging through RTL's workbag for paper scraps, and the copious amounts of other mischief he finds; today he figured out a way to reach his treat bag in the pantry, ripped through the plastic baggie and ate what I believe to be approximately half of the treats in the bag. Not sure if the cat aided and abetted in the crime, but I believe that climbing the litter box was part of the plan.

Taking a break from RTL's freelance work briefly to do all of this. Let's consider though that I sat in front of the computer for about 13 hours straight yesterday to finish phase 1 of the task because RTL's freaking out about getting it done. Yes, I am having that moment when I want to ask "if we didn't live together would you be breathing down my neck like this?" I am semi-regretting that I agreed to help out. I keep reminding myself that it pays property taxes for the year.
Also taking a few moments so that the maid, dishwasher, laundress and gardener can get some work done around the house. They forgot to show up this weekend, so I had to giggle a little (OK, I laughed so much that I almost got the hiccups) when RTL couldn't find the clean clothes she wanted this morning. But the mess is driving me crazy, so I think some cleaning up is in order.
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Weather:
No earthquakes in the past couple of days.
Rain has stopped temporarily.
Weather is actually nice and sunny here in No Cal.

People:
AJH had her baby on Thursday at 12:50 p.m. Tara Elizabeth weighed in at 6 pounds 6 ounces and 19 inches. Currently referred to as the "pooping machine." No comments for unoriginality.
K & F have moved into their new house and no longer under siege by the evil farmer. They also won't be coming to the States in September.
S & S have moved into their house in LA.

R & D:
Decided not to pursue Switzerland. Everyone can stop cheering now. Lots of factors that we had to consider and decided that it wasn't the best thing at the moment.
I'm freelancing for RTL for the next couple of weeks. Puts a slight hold on house stuff.
Still having trouble finding THE bicycle in Berkeley. We are considering driving up to Calistoga, since we've already found what we want there.
No vacation decision as yet.
RTL laughed at me for just finding Radio on itunes. But I also found the station that gives me the name of the song. Life is good.

I've probably missed other stuff, but you get what you get. : P pblttttttttt!

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