fancytalk: (Default)
I appreciate the fact that Ronette and I can have a complete conversation that does not include any complete sentences. For example, I went to the library yesterday to pick up a couple of movies that were ready from my hold list - Paul Blart Mall Cop and Taken. I get home and Ronette wanted to know what we had but we couldn't remember what Taken was about so this is our conversation . . .

R - Taken . . .
Me - I don't . . . (flipping over the dvd case)
R - who?
Me - Liam
R - Oh
Both - The one under the bed

Oh well, it was funny yesterday. Guess you had to be there.
fancytalk: (bonnie love)
Preface this story with buying a Clapper (yes, that wonderful, as seen on TV product) for Ronette. Yes, I know cheesy. However, she really wanted to be able to get into bed and turn off the bedside table without reaching over and basically out of the bed to click the switch. The second night that we had it plugged in - Ronette completely satisfied with the purchase - Bonnie was startled awake by something the cat was doing. Commence the barking to alert us that there is danger. She barks in the cadence to turn the clapper on and off! Needless to say, we spent about 10 minutes of strobe lighting trying to calm the dog down and convince her that everything was OK. Thank goodness she's not a barker like Dexter.
fancytalk: (Default)
This one is for [livejournal.com profile] curefreak for you next phone post

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I'm married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination . I'd hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
10. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning
fancytalk: (Default)
I forgot to add earlier that I believe this puppy in my house is actually part wookie.
I put her in her crate so I could go do some other things besides love on her.
And now all I hear is "grrr grrr ap ap ap grrr grrr".
And make it sound like a baby Chewbaca in your head.
fancytalk: (Default)
And then edited by George this morning.
Things you should know, but probably don't )
fancytalk: (Dana Laughing)
We went to the movies last night and saw SuperBad.
AAAAAAHHHH! It was hilarious! Not completely sure that it will become the next American Pie, but it was definitely funny. All the humour is 12 year old boy humor without any fart jokes. Funny though and we laughed out loud the entire time. The bonus is that we saw the preview for Harold and Kumar 2.

And the night started out pretty funny with the girl who waited on us for our movie food catching our hot dogs on fire in the microwave. The buns weren't entirely defrosted and another clerk advised her that "yeah, I usually just fix them up and stick them in the microwave for 45 seconds". As she was stuffing them into their silvery hot dog bags, I said to Ronette "I don't think those bags are microwavable." "Well, maybe it's just the printing ink . . . we'll see." 15 seconds later Ronette and I are going "FIRE! FIRE!" We were laughing so hard before the movie, there was no way the movie wasn't going to be funny.
fancytalk: (Dana Laughing)
Is your refrigerator running?
If it is, you better go catch it!

So you need to get out of an awkward situation or just want to show the world how popular you are, use the Popularity Dialer to get calls to your cell phone to do all that.

You only get 5 free, so use them wisely.
fancytalk: (Default)
More George-isms. Again, it's because I want to reference it but not in my inbox.

Dubya does it again )

God on lawns )

All this is typical George. And I love the fact that he routinely changes his email signature with thought-provoking quotes like his current one below.

If God is willing to prevent evil but not able, then he is not omnipotent.
If he is able but not willing then he is malevolent.
If God is both able and willing, then where cometh evil?
If he is neither able nor willing, then why do we call him God?

Epicurus, Greek philosopher 341 BC

• Otherwise stated: If God is so merciful why did he create mosquitoes?
fancytalk: (Laughing)
My friend Audra. I had no idea that she was doing stand-up now. But here she is . . .
fancytalk: (Default)
How to Appreciate Death Metal

I love that step #7 is - Respect the Artist because "The greatest death metalists almost can't make a living with what they do, and yet the musicians in these bands continue to soldier on in spite of their obscurity."

Plus the warning that should "you become enamored with death metal, be prepared for more raised eyebrows and grimaces".

With all this knowledge, I think I'll go make fun of my death metal friend some more.
fancytalk: (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] drmellow, you should check out this discussion on grits.
There is a worse abomination to the grit than sugar.
It would be instant grits.
fancytalk: (Default)
So I discovered this little video this morning too.
If you are anti-Bush, you will enjoy it. If you are pro-Bush, well don't look.

I loved the song so much, I went to go check out Jim's Big Ego.
I'm digging this too.
fancytalk: (Laughing)
I don't know how many of you watch Gilmore Girls, but I always enjoy the music used in the show and the musical references. So today I'm piddling around the internet and decide to find a fansite that has an epidode guide for the music used in the show. My search term for Google was "music used in Gilmore Girls". Google gave me some good information but then I noticed what the sponsored link for eBay said -

Girls Used for less
Looking for Girls Used?
Find exactly what you want today


So if you ever need a used girl or two, eBay is the place to look.
fancytalk: (Default)
First, I had to call the cops around midnight last night because there was a group of at least 20 college students standing in the middle of my street having an extremely LOUD argument. I thought that the apartment complex across the street was having a party. The parties don't bother me, but they usually don't sound like they are in my living room. I figured there was a new group of students who have moved in. The Nosy Nelly in me looked out the window when I heard someone say "are you ok?" at which point I went to the door with the phone and asked if they needed someone to call the police. Someone said yes and that some guy had mugged one of the guys in the group. Cell phones anyone? So I called, then I heard someone scream and someone else was yelling "OMG There he is! Catch him" A couple of the guys take off down the street and drag back this other kid. They were just holding onto him but I could hear one of the guys saying "look, all I want is the passport. I don't have any money, but I NEED the passport". Then someone said that the police had been called, he punched one of the girls holding his arm and took off in the other direction. The entire group took off after him. I heard the sirens a few minutes later. I don't know what happened after that, I wasn't crazy enough to follow.

After the Irish kids cancelled coming to the States in November, they are now going to be here the same time that RTL and I go to Australia. I love them, but the wishy-washy bothers me. We won't get into the psycho-babble that it's one of those things about myself that bothers me when other people do the same thing. For years they have been working on the dream of owning a coffee/art cafe and now things seem to be progressing into reality. Before the end of the year Elphene's should be up and running in Ennis (County Clare, Ireland). Very exciting, but boo hoo for me because now they won't be here in November.

And now for a funny story.
A friend of mine coaches his son's soccer team. He was telling me about a dork moment that he had with one of the fathers. Let's understand that Tom is synonymous with normal. He is the dad from the Dick and Jane books, he is Ward Cleaver in person. One of the father's came up to Tom and said something along the lines of "I'm so and so's dad, you're a good coach, etc" Tom described the other father as tattooed, tight jeans wearing, with cool hair - complete opposite of Tom. Then the other dad said to Tom "Great game" and put out his fisted hand to do what I would like to term the Tough Guy handshake. You know, the one where they give each other kudos, and knock fists together while saying things like "dude" or "man". Tom, being normal put out his hand for a handshake. Awkward moment ensued while tattooed dad realized that Tom is not hip on the Tough Guy handshake. That's not all! Tom's wife ran into tatooed dad's wife at the toddler park. Tom's wife comes back and tells him that he really is a dork because tatooed dad is none other than the lead singer of Metallica.

I'm a bit surprised that James Hetfield lives in the Bay area. I'm more surprised that he's a soccer dad though. Now I want to go to a soccer game.
fancytalk: (Default)
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.
He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"
fancytalk: (Default)
Swiped from [livejournal.com profile] wiccanpain

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
Yesimthegirl goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Glenda the Good Witch of the East.
curefreak gives you 9 red blueberry-flavoured pieces of bubblegum.
drmellow tricks you! You get a rotten egg.
emeralds_roses tricks you! You get a toothbrush.
emilybrianne gives you 1 milky white licorice-flavoured jawbreakers.
just2bme gives you 7 light yellow orange-flavoured gummy bats.
paintd_buttrfly gives you 18 light orange blueberry-flavoured pieces of bubblegum.
therealdeal1977 gives you 11 light orange cinnamon-flavoured nuggets.
wiccanpain gives you 17 dark green raspberry-flavoured gumdrops.
yarbiedoll gives you 14 orange licorice-flavoured nuggets.
Yesimthegirl ends up with 77 pieces of candy, a rotten egg, and a toothbrush.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.


Leave it to [livejournal.com profile] drmellow for the rotten egg.

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