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Before having a minor freak out, check for flight delays. You knew she was flying out of Chicago which is notorious for cancelling and delaying flights at whim. This would have saved three hours of wondering where the hell she was.

The house

Aug. 22nd, 2005 12:42 pm
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At RTL's work they are having some kind of Polaroid contest and she asked me to find a good picture to show "what moves you". I've been going through disks and the pictures stored on the computer and did find a good one of her on the deck of the ferry from Barcelona to Italy. It's a great Titanic moment. But I digress. In looking for a good picture, I've gone through all the pictures we've taken of the house. My goodness, this house was really crappy looking. I'm looking at the pictures and I'm wondering why we weren't having second thoughts about putting in a bid.

It's all about location and bones. This was one of the few houses that we looked at in our price range that wasn't surrounded by security fences. We're a couple of blocks from central Berkeley. We've got 3 elementary schools and the high school within walking distance. We're on the bicycle boulevard. All in all, an excellent location. But the house looked really bad. And doesn't account for the foundation work that we still have to do. There is definitely no curb appeal. I'm working on that with the frickin' juniper. Eventually we'll be able to put a coat of paint on the exterior. I'm looking at the pictures and I realize how far we've gotten in the progress from crappy looking to someone can actually live here.

Good work. I'm going to give myself a pat on the back.

Grrrrr!

Aug. 11th, 2005 08:39 pm
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fuck fuck fuck

RTL sent me travel dates. Conflict all around. The set dates:
9/22-23 Germany
9/26-27 Spain
9/28-29 Netherlands
10/10-11 Mexico
10/13-14 Australia

Yes, I'm feeling whiney and want to stomp my feet like a 4 year old and yell that I never get what I want. So sue me. Let me have my pity party.
I'm going to go cry while I figure out how to work things in my favor.
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This is my early morning rant before I buckle down to finish RTL's file.

First, I'm sure that the flames that started around her feet are licking closer to the top of her head. She's stressing me out because I can't have it all done yesterday. And criticized because I'm looking at each record an average of 30 seconds. I'm biting my tongue because what I want to say is "well, if you don't like how I'm doing it, then do it yourself". But I'm nice and it pays property taxes. ARRRRRGGGGGGGGG!

Add a little repetitive motion strain to that and it looks like it going to be a long day.

I think it's going to rain.

I had trouble eating my cereal because the cat was in my lap trying to put her face in the bowl. I knew I should have used soy milk this morning.

And finally, I HATE fat days. The scale says - "wow! the exercise is working well." The mirror says - "You go girl! Apples really are the secret." The clothes on the other hand say - "What in the hell have you been shoving down you throat?" But what's screwed up is that these are the clothes that fit now, and the too big clothes, they are too big! I hate fat days.

I wish it were Friday already.

Withdrawal

Jun. 21st, 2005 02:05 pm
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I haven't listened to JLC in about a week and I'm suffering from withdrawal. I'll have to make my smart playlist even smarter than it already is when I stop listening to my 80's flashback - all day and all night.

Been out doing errands this morning. Had to be up at the crack of still dark out this morning. RTL had to catch an early morning flight to Redmond, again. I'm thinking that Redmond should just be moved south a few miles. It would make it a lot easier for me to avoid early morning NPR wake up calls.

Then off to the floor store to return the floor samples we borrowed over the weekend. We had all the hardwood floors refinished before we moved into the house, but we didn't/haven't done anything to the floors that were tiled or the closet floors. We were considering installing some in floor heating for the bathrooms, but have since discovered cork flooring. So I think we've narrowed it down to cork tiles for the bathrooms, closets, and pantry.

And I went into the new Target that is closer to the house. OH MY GOODNESS! It's beautiful! Two floors and clean and not junky and it's very Berkeley.

Haven't been to the grocery store for people food or the pet store for Bella food. I'll get around to that eventually. I've got access to the car for the next couple of days to make running errands less of a hassle.

I've put on my junky clothes so that I can implement phase 6 of the juniper attack. Sounds like a B horror movie from the 50's.

The dog has been relegated to the back porch today. No cozy inside bed sleeping for him. Besides the toilet paper, digging through RTL's workbag for paper scraps, and the copious amounts of other mischief he finds; today he figured out a way to reach his treat bag in the pantry, ripped through the plastic baggie and ate what I believe to be approximately half of the treats in the bag. Not sure if the cat aided and abetted in the crime, but I believe that climbing the litter box was part of the plan.

Taking a break from RTL's freelance work briefly to do all of this. Let's consider though that I sat in front of the computer for about 13 hours straight yesterday to finish phase 1 of the task because RTL's freaking out about getting it done. Yes, I am having that moment when I want to ask "if we didn't live together would you be breathing down my neck like this?" I am semi-regretting that I agreed to help out. I keep reminding myself that it pays property taxes for the year.
Also taking a few moments so that the maid, dishwasher, laundress and gardener can get some work done around the house. They forgot to show up this weekend, so I had to giggle a little (OK, I laughed so much that I almost got the hiccups) when RTL couldn't find the clean clothes she wanted this morning. But the mess is driving me crazy, so I think some cleaning up is in order.
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Weather:
No earthquakes in the past couple of days.
Rain has stopped temporarily.
Weather is actually nice and sunny here in No Cal.

People:
AJH had her baby on Thursday at 12:50 p.m. Tara Elizabeth weighed in at 6 pounds 6 ounces and 19 inches. Currently referred to as the "pooping machine." No comments for unoriginality.
K & F have moved into their new house and no longer under siege by the evil farmer. They also won't be coming to the States in September.
S & S have moved into their house in LA.

R & D:
Decided not to pursue Switzerland. Everyone can stop cheering now. Lots of factors that we had to consider and decided that it wasn't the best thing at the moment.
I'm freelancing for RTL for the next couple of weeks. Puts a slight hold on house stuff.
Still having trouble finding THE bicycle in Berkeley. We are considering driving up to Calistoga, since we've already found what we want there.
No vacation decision as yet.
RTL laughed at me for just finding Radio on itunes. But I also found the station that gives me the name of the song. Life is good.

I've probably missed other stuff, but you get what you get. : P pblttttttttt!
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I have mixed emotions about RTL going out of town for work - on one hand - PaRtY!!!!!!! I can sit on the couch and read without being interrupted every 5 seconds with "did you see that?", I can hog the bed, I can cook loads of onions and peppers, I can add spice to my taste, I can use up all the hot water, lots of good party time things; on the other hand - I can't sleep. Let's use last night as an example - I think I finally went to bed at 3, but I still woke up at 7. Which sucks when I've made plans to run all the errands I need to do.

Which is what I've been doing this morning. Did some grocery shopping at the Bowl. It's a local market that has some of the BEST veggies in the area. Fresh and not rotting already. Downside is that everyone knows this so it's packed no matter when you go. People are parked and waiting for hours before the doors open at 9. Which was me. And it was still a madhouse.

I did cheat a little and went across the street to Walgreens so that I could buy some shampoo and stuff. Which was a pain in the tushy. I used to be able to find a wide variety of brands at Walgreens, now I'm limited to about 7 or 8 brands of shampoo and it's stuff that I won't or can't use on my head. I just don't get it.

Went to B & N as well so I could get a trash book to read when The Secret Life of Bees starts weighing my brain down. I have melted chocolate for that little side trip. Just call me Blondie. The truth is that I was actually looking for a couple of other books which is why I stayed too long in the store. I should have realized that skipping the Berkeley store would have been a better option and just gone to Emeryville where I have three floors to choose from. Of course, because I'm looking for a specific book I'll still have to go to Emeryville.

Now that I'm back, I'm trying to figure out what my neighbor is doing. I think he's finally trimming the hedge between our houses. Yay! I did my side a while back.

And thanks for the smart playlist tip, although now I'm trying to figure out when I bought a Modest Mouse cd.
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Switzerland?
Doesn't it just snow there?

Apparently RTL is going to corner the big cheese to discuss for more details.
The only information that we have right now is location, client, and job title. So before everyone freaks out, nothing is set in stone and the ball hasn't started rolling. We are still in pre-preliminary talks. At least on the employer side of things, RTL and I have set up timeline and project lists in case employer has an offer that we can't pass up.

Sometimes it's just best to go with the flow.

At least the location is in a French speaking part of Switzerland. Good for me, not so good for RTL. And it was really hard to give an unbiased answer to her question of "do you think that French is easy to learn?" I can't ever remember a time where I didn't want to speak French. So learning for me was really easy. We are looking at immersion programs for her and some basic brush up skills for me.

Other thoughts about this possibility -
The location does not have a high cost of living like SF.
House prices are CHEAP.
Kind of screws up me going back to school.
But I can take classes online.
I would have the Swiss bank account I've always dreamed of.
2 hour train ride to Paris.
4 hour train ride to Amsterdam.
2 hour plane ride to K & F in Ireland.
Really make my French fluent.
Basically the same distance from the East Coast as the West Coast is.
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So I lied about the "formal" conversation. Actually, it was probably more of miscommunication. Big cheese had to skip out with an even bigger cheese. Which means that RTL's wheeeeee sound came from a brief informal conversation that continued to freak her out all day. It's still freaking her out.

However, I'm in trouble because in the "what do you think we should do" conversation this morning, I was talking about how this affects me going back to school. Officially going back, no more crapping around. And I said that I had applied for financial aid. If looks could kill. The issue - I didn't tell her when I applied for f.a. and I should have the moment that I visited the fafsa website. So at the moment I think that my guilt is irrational. I also think that her anger about this is irrational as well. I also think that the bigger issue is that we are both control freaks and are having a moment of clashing for control power.

Now let's add in the frustration that RTL didn't make it to the parking lot to get her keys before they closed and had to take BART to work today. She lucked out and caught a ride home with a friend, but I'm sure she's going to have to pay an arm and a leg to get the car back.

And now for an encore performance of "What have I done?!"
I complained earlier that I had a few friends reading this that were lame slackers (and yes, you still are, wimps).
But I realized yesterday that I hadn't said anything to a couple of people who really mattered.
Of course you would think that they would be first on the list.
Yet, when I woke up about 3 this morning thinking "what have I done?!" I knew exactly why I had avoided doing what seemed obvious.
Answer - They have known me so long, they may know me well enough to read between the lines.
Which feels awkward because I think I spend much of my time trying to hide.

And now that I've said all that, I'm going back into seclusion.
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RTL called again. This time freaking out after the "formal' conversation with the big cheese.
Emphasis on the freaking out part.

Let me draw an image to help you understand - You know when you go to the fair and ride the super loop or the pirate ship or a roller coaster or maybe all three in a row, the feeling that screaming makes the butterflies in your tummy go away as you go around or down. However, you already knew this when you got on the ride and you really know it when the ride hovers right at the point before it falls.

So talking to RTL is kind of like that, but I don't think she expected the ride to be scary so she's surprised at the need to scream. If you've ever ridden the Cyclone at Coney Island, you know exactly what I mean. I could hear the "wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee" in her voice as she was trying to give me details of the conversation.
Of course the couple of friends that she works with (and would share this info with at work) told her that considering our current situation, it sounded like a perfect opportunity.
Which only made the "wheeeeeeeeeeee" sound worse.

Insert into the picture cool, calm, grounded me who has just realized that I can't be the one freaking out right now. Although, I think part of me wants to, but the rest of me just shakes my head and says "do you remember that conversation a few weeks ago?"
I think RTL wanted me to freak out and be rattled with her. I just keep telling her that things will work out the way they are suppose to and just relax.
And she questions whether we will know whether it's right or not. Now I shake my head and think "resistance is futile."
Faith and Trust.

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