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It's going to be a long weekend
Jun. 10th, 2005 08:29 amSo I lied about the "formal" conversation. Actually, it was probably more of miscommunication. Big cheese had to skip out with an even bigger cheese. Which means that RTL's wheeeeee sound came from a brief informal conversation that continued to freak her out all day. It's still freaking her out.
However, I'm in trouble because in the "what do you think we should do" conversation this morning, I was talking about how this affects me going back to school. Officially going back, no more crapping around. And I said that I had applied for financial aid. If looks could kill. The issue - I didn't tell her when I applied for f.a. and I should have the moment that I visited the fafsa website. So at the moment I think that my guilt is irrational. I also think that her anger about this is irrational as well. I also think that the bigger issue is that we are both control freaks and are having a moment of clashing for control power.
Now let's add in the frustration that RTL didn't make it to the parking lot to get her keys before they closed and had to take BART to work today. She lucked out and caught a ride home with a friend, but I'm sure she's going to have to pay an arm and a leg to get the car back.
And now for an encore performance of "What have I done?!"
I complained earlier that I had a few friends reading this that were lame slackers (and yes, you still are, wimps).
But I realized yesterday that I hadn't said anything to a couple of people who really mattered.
Of course you would think that they would be first on the list.
Yet, when I woke up about 3 this morning thinking "what have I done?!" I knew exactly why I had avoided doing what seemed obvious.
Answer - They have known me so long, they may know me well enough to read between the lines.
Which feels awkward because I think I spend much of my time trying to hide.
And now that I've said all that, I'm going back into seclusion.
However, I'm in trouble because in the "what do you think we should do" conversation this morning, I was talking about how this affects me going back to school. Officially going back, no more crapping around. And I said that I had applied for financial aid. If looks could kill. The issue - I didn't tell her when I applied for f.a. and I should have the moment that I visited the fafsa website. So at the moment I think that my guilt is irrational. I also think that her anger about this is irrational as well. I also think that the bigger issue is that we are both control freaks and are having a moment of clashing for control power.
Now let's add in the frustration that RTL didn't make it to the parking lot to get her keys before they closed and had to take BART to work today. She lucked out and caught a ride home with a friend, but I'm sure she's going to have to pay an arm and a leg to get the car back.
And now for an encore performance of "What have I done?!"
I complained earlier that I had a few friends reading this that were lame slackers (and yes, you still are, wimps).
But I realized yesterday that I hadn't said anything to a couple of people who really mattered.
Of course you would think that they would be first on the list.
Yet, when I woke up about 3 this morning thinking "what have I done?!" I knew exactly why I had avoided doing what seemed obvious.
Answer - They have known me so long, they may know me well enough to read between the lines.
Which feels awkward because I think I spend much of my time trying to hide.
And now that I've said all that, I'm going back into seclusion.
