The Cure for Boredom is Curiosity.

Let's see, not feeling pregnant yet. :) Although I do feel crappy. I was on the couch asleep at 7:30 last night. Not sure what was up with that, I did email the nurse asking about infection symptoms post IUI. Not freaking out, but just covering all bases. Today still not feeling great and combined with the rain - blah! - and the need to do some house stuff I'm not very motivated to do anything but sit on the couch and read.

And all you East coast people who are happy with the snow. Enjoy it but PLEASE don't send it my way. I'm done with winter. It's time for spring and flowers and sunshine and not having to crank the heat up.

Yesterday was also the day for weird things. I freecycled the dog house that was left from the previous owners. So I get this email from a lady interested. Fantastic! I'm getting this thing out of my yard. Then she asks if Lester is my maiden or married name because she keeps finding Lester's that she is related to through Freecycle. Weird, but I write her back and tell her Lester is my maiden name and that Lester comes to me via Kansas. So she writes back explaining she is a genealogy freak and starts giving me the whole Native American part of the Lester genealogy. At which point I yell out to Ronette "Holy sh*t! I might be related to this chick!" So hopefully if she comes by today to get the dog house I'll be able to meet her and talk to her. I emailed my cousin who has done a lot of research on my family so I'm waiting to hear back from her as well.

While at Bumbershoot and flipping through pages and pages of band bios, I saw a write-up for one of the comedy shows called CoochieMajick. Of course, you can't pass up something as lovely sounding as CoochieMajick so we went. Let me tell you this was one of the best "comedy" shows that I have seen. Christa Bell is a Poetry Slam champion so that gives an idea of her style of comedy. A beautiful combination of African American church preacher mixed with rap all while talking about coochie. But since I can't completely describe the wonders of her I'm including the link to her website and also a YouTube link.

The reason why I mention Christa Bell today is because of another post about need vs. want and how some of my generation have needs that have exploded to become more of a want than the basics of what is actually needed to survive. Part of the show is about using your orgasm to access how much you want something - couldn't find a link to Christa explaining it so I'll try my best. Basically she says that your orgasm is the ultimate pleasure so you can assess your life, your wants, whatever based on where those things rank to your orgasm. Of course, anything that is on par with your orgasm would be a must have. I'm not so eloquent about it but it certainly made sense to me. How many things have I not bought in the past week because it wasn't orgasm worthy. Kind of similar to being sponge worthy.

So I'm down in the dungeon cleaning out crap and I find a bunch of stuff from my former life in Virginia. One of those things is my manual for a class (I guess you can call it that) I used to teach called "Keeping it Real". Well, I was training others to be able to teach the curriculum, so my manual is a little different than what the kids get when they go through it.

I'm flipping through and taking out all the paper I can recycle and I find the section entitled "The 411 on Sex and Slang ~ Glossary of Terms". And of course I'm giggling because this section is in here because I was teaching this class to older, church-going ladies. Very prim, very proper and had a hard time using words like penis and vagina, but they wanted to use this program to help the youth in their church community so they were going to get jiggy wid it. So we came up with a very comprehensive and gentle list for them. Didn't want to freak them out too much. So we get things like anal sex (why I don't know, it seems self-explanatory), Benjamin, the bomb, bounce, 411, ghetto, hip hop, mack, my bad, old skool, props, tight, whack and what's the dilly. But by far my favorite on the list is Ho Cake. Although, I'm intrigued that the definition for ho cake on this list is vagina. I thought a ho cake was more along the lines of slut or ho, but not skanky like a skank. Anyone use ho cake to identify their vagina? Hmmmmm, I believe this calls for a little Urban Dictionary searching.

ETA - I am not forgetting ho cakes as a food group. Food wasn't the 411 for this list. However, Urban Dictionary does state that a ho cake can be food for hos.

I've observed a strange collection of people this weekend or at least encountered something linked to someone who probably is very strange.

First - the note left on the car telling me that by driving a SUV that I don't live up to the bumper sticker on the car. (The worst thing in society is ignorance.)

then, the chick driving the hybrid who literally passed me, got back in front of me and slammed on brakes for no apparent reason other than to make me notice her "SUV = Death" bumper sticker.

Here's what I would like to say to them - Ummmm, yeah, I drive an SUV. It's paid off. It's in good shape considering it's age. It gets better gas mileage than the Ford Focus I owned. It's also shared between two people and it gets driven a lot less than your hybrid. And I walk or ride my bike to most of the places where I've already seen your bumper sticker.

Lastly - I drove to Safeway yesterday afternoon to buy a few groceries for the next couple of days. I pulled into a parking spot and noticed that there was a man standing in front of the car across from me. I was very intrigued watching this man as he carefully pulled a cigarette from it's pack, lit it and began to smoke. What I found so interesting was that this man was smoking a pack of very American red label Malboroughs just as he was dressed very deliberately in what I would call the "American boy next door"fashion. Fascinating. It wasn't like he was just standing around smoking a cigarette and being dressed in a polo shirt and khakis, the style and brand was very deliberate. And he was smoking the cigarette James Dean style.

Then he pops the hood of his car. He's messing around under the hood (Look ma! more apple pie American details.) and he takes out this white filter looking thing. This is the point where I realize that I believe he drives a hybrid because under the hood doesn't look similar to gas engine cars, so I continued to watch him. (He was really fascinating) He starts shaking the white filter thing - far away from his body so he won't get dirty. It looks at it every so often and I guess it wasn't getting as clean as he wanted it to be. Yes, he is still smoking the cigarette. I see him get this thought in his head about how to get the filter thing cleaner. He looks at the car in front of him (the one parked beside me), looks covertly around and smacks the hood of the car with the white filter thing a couple of times. Oh no he didn't! Yes, he did. I guess he didn't notice me in my big American SUV. I couldn't believe that he decided it was OK to clean his filter on someone else's car. No, I didn't say anything to him, I was too busy being the fly on the wall observing. What can I say, people are strange especially when they don't think anyone else is looking.

OK, so I'm not going to keep him in the house, but have you ever seen a worm this big?




I think he is actually a little bit longer than the ruler shows. I disturbed him when I picked him up and he just became a fat, short worm.