Why I don't want to get old

[fancytalk]

I was talking to my dad the other day about my Grandma. Now, I have to explain that my Grandma is mean. Not in that "I've gotten old and can say whatever I want" mean, Grandma could compete in a meanness competition and win because all the other competitors would forfeit once they knew she was playing. As healthy as Grandma is, my dad had to put her in an assisted living facility because she refuses to do anything for herself. Not that she couldn't, but she won't. In all fairness, her ability to be mobile has deteriorated in the past five years. Atlhough, I do believe that is more of her unwillingness than her actual ability, but I digress.

Dad was telling me that if I went to a thrift store or cleaned out my closet, to look for and send clothes his way for Grandma. OK, I said, but why? He kept most of her clothes at his house so that her space wouldn't be overflowing. (Grandma was/is a clothes horse) Several of us have bought new clothes for her when she has complained that she has nothing to wear. Apparently, whenever anything is taken to Grandma within a week these new items disappear. Her drawers are empty and the only thing hanging in the closet is a sweater. She's an old woman, she has nothing, why steal her clothes? But if that wasn't bad enough her dentures have walked off, her glasses are missing and the final straw for dad was that her wheelchair wheeled itself away. The social worker had no explanation and spent 30 minutes of my dad's last visit hemming and hawing about what happened to the wheelchair. Now, I understand what it's like to not want to be around my Grandma, but you don't steal a woman's wheelchair just because you know she can't run after you.

As much as I really don't like grandma, I really do feel sorry for her. She's at a point where she has to depend on other people to take care of her, but the people that my dad has entrusted (and who get paid a lot of money to do their job) aren't holding up their end of the bargain. All I can think is that if assisted living facilities and nursing homes are this bad now, what is it going to be like when the mass of baby boomers need this kind of skilled care? Do I really want to have to resort to assisted resources when I hit my 80's?

Comments

[ajayne.livejournal.com]

Sadly, that happens a lot in assisted living facilities. My grandma lost a picture frame... (they were gracious enough to take the family picture out of it first!)... her glasses.... her wedding ring (which was STUCK on her finger and wasn't even real gold because she'd lost or sold her gold one during the depression , or so we thought)and several other things that make no sense for people to steal from her.

It's sad. I really hope that things change by the time my parents need that... or I hope they never need it.

[yesimthegirl.livejournal.com]

I think it horrifies me because I used to work in an assisted living facility. I NEVER would have thought to take something just because I could or even assume that no one would miss it. It makes no sense.

[ajayne.livejournal.com]

I worked in one too in Arizona... and I was always hearing about things being stolen and they always assumed the housekeeping staff. I couldn't imagine stealing anyone else's stuff anyway, regardless of where I am.

[yesimthegirl.livejournal.com]

So why aren't there more good, trustworthy people working in places like that?

[ajayne.livejournal.com]

I wish I knew. Honestly... it really saddens me at the way some elderly are treated in these places.